2015 was the year I almost didn't see. It was the year I not only realized how important it is to take care of yourself, but that nothing, as cliche as it sounds, is impossible. Along with that, it was also the year I learned that it is important to recognize those you love when you still can hold them in your arms (RIP Tata). My limits were challenged this year, but I was blessed in multiple different ways. I I would love to say I have completely transformed as a person... but there are always steps to take. I may not be fully confident in who I am, or what I can do,but I am here. I am breathing. I am continuing to take risks, and fight for what I want.
A year of hardships, and love is nothing without the people you share it with. So, I would like to take this opportunity to mention those who made this year a little easier.
Jessi: My best friend since Junior year. The woman I can always count on to see in the audience as I take my bow, or listen to me attentively as I bitch about one thing or another. Thank you for being a friend to me all these years. Thank you for picking up the phone at all hours of the night. Thank you for being on my side even when I know I am wrong. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, the strongest woman I admire everyday. Please know that no matter what, I will always have your back. Thank you for being in my life.
Dejon: A therapist. A brother. You and I have had quite a ride together. You are the one to be my voice of reason, but never make me feel ridiculous for my feelings. I am so proud of your accomplishments this year- finding your passion for acting again, and moving on to U of A. You make me proud every time I see you. And your tendency to check up on me every now and then just to say "hello" means more than you could know. I love you buddy. Thank you for being an example of what a friend, and man should be.
Eric: A man of utter talent, humor, and heart. I don't think I could put into words how much our friendship means to me. On my worse days, you lend me your ears. On my best days, you are the first to applaud. When I need someone to shake me, and bring me back to reality, you are the first one to do so. Thank you for being a friend I can play with on and offstage. Thank you for always being willing to hear my endless banter. Thank you for telling me I am enough when I don't believe it myself. And thank you for never making me feel stupid when I share my ups and downs. You are my pal. The most talented actor I have ever met.Cinderella was an absolute blessing having you by my side. Please know how much potential and ability you have to rock this world. Remember me when you star in your own sitcom that you probably will produce, and write yourself.
Ursa: A best friend. A kind, gentle soul. A woman who has more heart in her finger than I do in my entire body. My god girl, I would be lost without you. You have been such an incredible friend to me,and I don't think I can repay you for all of the love you have showed me this year. You have remained at my side through it all, and it has been such a blessing getting to know everything about you. Thank you for showing me love when I needed it the most. For having my back when I was down. For taking me to school, or Safeway, or auditions because I am a broke ass bitch. For laughing with me when I wanted to cry. I love you girl. You are such a special person. And I will always, always, ALWAYS be there for you until the end.
Shelby: My gab pal. My favorite makeup queen. A friend to act ridiculous with, and who encourages me to be my best. I love you so much, and I am so glad you came back into my life when you did. Late night trips to Walmart, or shopping parties to the mall are memories I cherish with all of my heart. You were there for me at my worst, and what you did for me is something I can never repay. Thank you for being a stage mom at all of my shows. Thank you for doing me up for all of my special occasions. Thank you for driving my broke ass around when I need a lift. Thank you for allowing me to be my silly self. Thank you for pushing me to see myself as the beautiful woman I see when I look at you.
Madi: My biggest cheerleader. The most boss ass bitch I have ever met. Becoming closer with you this year is one of the things I am most grateful for. You have always been such a passionate, fiery soul, and it has been wonderful seeing you blossom into the lovely woman you are today. Thank you for cheering the loudest when you see me on stage. Thank you for laughing with me until we can't breathe. Thank you for offering me a hug when I need a boost. And thank you for inspiring me to push myself in my art. You astound me everyday with how talented, and intelligent you are with everything you do. You are the pure epitome of "you can do anything you set your mind to". You are the artist I strive to be, and I have no doubt you will continue to take this world by storm.
Nathan: My little brother from another mother. This semester brought us from acquaintances to good friends, and that makes me so happy. Thank you for our many talks in the PAC. Thank you for being patient as I spill my guts out to you for the millionth time. Thank you for checking up on me to make sure I am okay. And thank you for having the biggest smile on your face when I share good news. This semester I saw you take charge, and believe in your ability as both a designer, and a person. And because you reminded me in your lovely Christmas card, it is my duty to remind you-"You are enough. You are more than enough. Never let anyone tell you different".
Robert: One of the best people I have ever met. A man of absolute heart, determination, and spunk. Thank you for pushing me to love who I am. Thank you for lending me your shoulder when I need to cry. Thank you for helping me sort out my crazy, mixed up mind. Thank you for taking the time to help me see that I have control of my own damn life. You are wonderful, and know that you deserve to be everyone's first choice. You are more than the man that is there to pick up everyone's messes, you are the man whose strength we try to emulate as we face our own battles. This year I know has been very hard for you. But the courage, and fire you have every day just to wake up in the morning, and face the flames, is something that will carry you through the storm. I love you buddy. And I am here to take on those fiery pits of any hell storm with you.
Ixy: My lady love. My sister. The most talented woman I have ever met, and the kind of fearless performer I admire with such awe. You are the definition of a woman with radiance. Thank you for being with me when I take a bow. Thank you for the endless rides (You rock Uptadel family) to rehearsal and back. Thank you for the sleepovers when I need a place to veg out. Thank you for offering me a protein bar when you know I forgot to eat dinner. You are very precious to me, and I hope to have many, many more journeys with you on and off the stage. "I would not wish any companion in the world but you...now, now sister don't be modest-I'm sure he'll pick you." (:
Mandy: My sister from another mister. Regardless how many times we see each other a year, when we do, it is like no time has passed. Thank you for being one of my biggest support systems. Thank you for hearing my countless stories, and never seeming bored. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, and for our special talks that I always look forward to when we can meet. I love you to the moon and back girl. You are such a special woman, one of grace and modesty, and I know that you have a beautiful life ahead of you, even more beautiful than your presence is in this world.
Amber: A woman I hope to grow up to be. Through it all, you have been there for me with no complaints. You have opened your soul, and offered me words of wisdom. You have chosen to spend wonderful afternoons with me, and for that, I am forever grateful. When you walked into my life two years ago, you showed me what it meant to be a friend. You demonstrate the kind of person I want to be. I hope you know how much you mean to me, and how much of who you are is going to take you to the highest of heights in this world. Keep kicking ass girl. You are capable of anything.
The Bond Family: I hope you find your way to read this, because without you guys, my life would be so empty. Thank you for treating me as one of your own. Thank you Steve, for always yelling "Bravo" when I take my bow. Thank you Jackie, for your sweet texts, just to tell me that you love me. Thank you Christine, for with every performance giving me the best encouragement. Thank you Chelsea, for reminding me that it is okay not to be okay. I can always count on you guys to route for me as I do anything in this world. Your loving souls have lifted me up when I fell down, and please know that I will be here for you guys with whatever you need.
M3: Whenever I think of any of you guys, I think of this group. This group became so much more than just friends who watch movies together. We have become a family. Whether it's being there to support each other at our many performances, or offering love when life gets in the way, having you guys in my life has been such a blessing these past few years, (holy cow, YEARS?!).
Brian and Shelby: I know, I know. Beating a dead horse with how much I love you guys, but I just can't not include you in this thank you. As you know, I was very lost coming to your theatre. I was searching for a place to take my "next step" in my career. Then, I lost myself. I didn't believe I had the talent or fire within me to succeed in this business. I hated who I saw in the mirror; I didn't believe I had the strength to continue to try. Your theatre saved my life. It helped me to discover that little energetic, dramatic girl who loved performing so much, that I thought died. Thank you for giving a chance. Thank you for believing in me when I didn't. Thank you for sending me messages filled of love when I wasn't feeling my best. Because of you guys, I found that I am capable. Because of you two, I rebuilt the Alexxis that I thought was gone. Because of the theatre you have created, I found not only another place to feel warm in, but a place to create. To inspire. To imagine. To tell my insecurity monster to shut the hell up. Thank you for showing me that I am enough. I will continue to spread your mission, and encourage everyone to come experience your beautiful company.
Brelby Family: Thank you for welcoming me with open arms. Thank you for inspiring me to be the best performer I can be. Thank you for cheering me on opening night of Fangirl, when I was petrified of disappointing you. Thank you for showing me that it is not about the recognition, or proving something to others, it is about the art.
You all have left a big hand print on my heart. 2015 was a little insane, but because of you, I survived the many peaks and valleys. I may have lost a piece of myself, but I gained so much more in the end. Most importantly, I gained all of you.
Here is to 2016. May it bring to us joy, good challenges, and many self discoveries.
"You are enough. You are so enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are".
-Alexxis
