Cliche Introduction

I've tried to do this sort of thing before about a year ago. I was eighteen, in the middle of a mediocre post-high school-graduate-meltdown, and barely starting my second week of community college. I was looking for a change in my life, or rather a way to cope with the new changes of my life. But with all things, after three weeks I forget my password, and created a new Tumblr where I have been ranting on for the last two years. Go figure. I guess I feel with these sorts of blogs you have to be inspirational. Each entry needs to have a "you can do it, I did" sort of approach. However to be frank, my inspiration engine is having some trouble starting up right now. So, can I promise you that you will find some magical, life changing awakenings here? Absolutely not. But, I can promise to be honest with you. To share my own struggles. To give you something to relate to. And for a newly turned twenty year old who still lives at home and has access to free food on a daily basis, that's all you can ask for right?

Alright. Enough of the chitter chatter. I guess I should tell you who I am. Really. 

The Basics: Twenty. Female. Feminist. Theatre major, and local actress wherever I can get by bus or kind friends. Alexxis Briviesca, entering her third year of community college (and hopefully her last) to walk the stepping stones to having a successful, professional acting career. Loud laugh. Loves to dance to Ariana Grande and the Pop Hip Hop Pandora station, usually at 6 am. Aggressively loyal to her friends. Enjoys eating avocado and tomato toasted sandwiches. Talks 50 miles a minute.

These are what I like to call "the makings of my mask". The mundane facts about me. The identifiers of my name. The simple quirks about me that I allow strangers to see.

But, what lies behind it?

The Bare Face: Insecure. Having severe symptoms of depression and anxiety (yet to be medically taken care of) for a year and a half. Jealous. Obsessive. Highly sensitive. And sometimes, dangerously lazy. 

Still want to get to know her? Well, alright. You have been warned. 

I'm a woman of many layers. As each person is in the world. Some may say I'm crazy, (which hell, you aren't wrong). Some may say I'm just too sensitive. Whoever Alexxis is to the outside world, the person inside of her is barely getting to know her. And the discoveries are sometimes less than pleasant. And other times, they are encouraging. Like we are told everyday, these are the years where life is a bitch. And finding who you are is like searching for loose change so you can eat lunch. Hopeful. Disappointing. Frustrating. And overall, just a huge mess. 

So, I encourage you to come on this ride. I will try to post something at least once a week. Probably just for myself. But if any of you care to join me, maybe this can be a cool bonding experience. I guess we shall see.