Saying goodbye to something, especially when it was a huge part of your life is always a challenge. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, that toxic person that you finally kicked to the curb, or a place that you called home, finishing a chapter in your life can bring a lot of uneasy emotions. For me as an actress, I am constantly saying goodbye to shows. It's so surreal when you think about it. You are given a character to create; you have about a month or two to bond with your cast, you put the whole thing together, and in a blink, it is time to strike. You take your final bows, say your goodbyes, grab your "thank you" cards, and either look for your next project, or start on a new show right away. I always feel super embarrassed about how attached I get to a show. I not only treat the character as if they are a real, living being (which I mean, I guess that is not necessarily a BAD thing); I also value the cast like family. Which in essence, that is what a cast should feel like. A tight group so connected to each other, one cohesive unit who offer love, support, and fun to the process. Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to Fangirl, a show that really has been a completely different experience than anything I have been a part of. It was rough, I cried before the show to my wonderful director, almost cried throughout the show during parts that would have been really inappropriate, and bawled as I left the theatre. It still hasn't completely hit me yet that it is over. Yesterday I even started going over some of my lines, when I realized I couldn't try to make the better choice "for next time". The journey was done. The show had a fantastic run. And I am really blessed with how well people enjoyed it, the wonderful response we received from our playwright, and the bond we all created together as a team.
When shows are such a positive experience, it can be hard to say goodbye. Such as with anything in life. Moving to a new city to pursue another career; switching your tassel from left to right, and saying goodbye to a place that held your heart. As a growing young woman, I have had to force myself to learn that life is a book filled with many chapters. In order to continue the story, you need to finish one to get to the next. It will always be there as a memory. You can even sneak a peak one day when you are feeling nostalgic, and embrace in all its beauty again. The memories never go away. But what is important is not to refuse to read the rest of the book, and constantly go back the beginning out of fear of not knowing what will come next. Because what is beautiful about life is that you create your own chapters. You have the power and the control to write whatever you want. You are the author of your own story. And that is what I am taking from this experience. I had a great time, and I want to have another one. So therefore, time to write my next chapter. It is up to me, and only me. And by gum, I am going to write it with as much beauty, action, and love as I can.
So I'm curious, what are some difficult goodbyes you have had to say? What chapter are you writing now? Let's share, let's chat. Embrace together that our lives are always moving forward. (:
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